Love, Understanding, and Blessedness

Spinoza on freeing ourselves from emotional bondage

woman looking at graffiti that says “freedom”
Photo by Hanna Zhyhar

In his Ethics, Baruch Spinoza explains that we are inextricably tied to our emotions. He teaches that we must learn to accommodate our bondage to our emotions in service of the good. We can overcome the emotions which assail us from the outside with the power of the emotions that come from our essence, the part of ourselves which seeks the good. If we do not understand what is good, we will be ruled by the less-powerful emotions that do not serve the good.

Spinoza believes that there is only one substance, and that this substance is God. Since we are all a part of that substance (God), we cannot act in our own best interest without considering the best interest of what we truly are: a vast and connected whole. We overcome our emotional bondage by doing what is within our own power to advance the pursuit of the good.

Understanding Emotions

Emotions are stronger according to how many external causes arouse them in us at the same time. The more we are personally affected by something, the more powerful our emotions about it will be. An emotion that can be attributed to many different causes is less potentially powerful than an emotion attributed to a single cause.

Emotions are only bad as far as they interfere with our ability to think. We are only ruled by our emotions as far as they interfere with our ability to use reason to determine what is good, and to work towards that good. Clearing this noise from our minds is how we attain freedom. Our emotions can only have power over us when we don’t understand them and their causes.

Good and Evil

We call things “good” or “evil” based on how they affect us positively or negatively emotionally. Emotions that we consciously cause in ourselves are stronger than emotions that are caused by external factors. We are more affected by things in the present, the recent past or the near future than things that have long ago passed or that are in the distant future. Emotions that we believe are necessary are more powerful than emotions that we think are unnecessary.

Emotions are also more powerful when they exist in relation to a thing that we believe is possible (while not currently existing), than when they are in relation to things that are subject to chance. Our emotions are more powerful when we believe we have the power to change something.

The power of our passions, as well as their persistence in existence, are determined by the measure of our own power against the power of external causes. Passionate emotions can best be overcome with contrary emotions. We can even more easily control our desires when they are concerned with what is contingent rather than what is present. Emotions that arise from pleasure are also stronger than emotions that arise from pain.

The carrot in front of us is a stronger motivator than the stick behind us. We are more powerful when we concern ourselves with seeking good than when we concern ourselves with escaping evil.

Using Reason

Reason should guide us towards acting in the best interest of all people, and this is the only way we can truly act in our own self-interest. An individual who is truly doing what’s best for themselves is someone who is doing what’s best for humanity. We can use reason to understand and to subsequently change our emotions. When we are guided by reason, our emotions can exist in service of the good. Reason allows us to organize ourselves in such a way that we will not be easily affected by evil emotions.

Reason leads to the understanding which allows us to identify the good, and our emotions will align with this understanding. We can use reason as a pathway to modify the mental world, which will in turn modify the physical world. The mind has power over emotions to the degree that it understands that all things are necessary. It’s not that “everything happens for a reason,” but rather that “everything happens.” Truly understanding this is the path to freedom from our emotional bondage.

Emotions as a Path to Blessedness

Our emotions are tools which are meant to steer us towards the good (what is useful) and away from evil (what interferes with finding what is useful). Emotions are “good” when they serve the good, and “evil” when they serve what is evil. One cannot truly act in self-interest while acting against the interests of others, because we and others are part of the same divine substance.

We rightly seek our own best interest, but we are only doing so skillfully when our own interests are aligned with the interests of others. To truly do what is best for you is to do what is best for the world at large. Real selfishness is, in fact, selflessness– since to be truly selfish is to act in the best interest of others, who are no different from us, in essence.

God is without passions– it does not love or hate. No one can hate God, because God is perfection, and we are God. If we want freedom, the love of God must occupy our consciousness. To love God is to love ourselves. To love ourselves is to love God. The love of God can never be turned into hate. It is not contingent upon receiving the love of God in return. It cannot be stained by envy or jealousy. By freeing ourselves from emotions that run contrary to our nature, we may be free to sculpt our universal body to match our universal mind. The physical world will come to reflect the mental world.

We cannot change what we cannot understand. The more we understand ourselves, the closer we get to God. Understanding ourselves is the key to understanding the world and to attaining freedom. Blessedness occurs when we are driven by a love for God, which is also love for ourselves, a love for others, and love for all things.


Originally published on medium.com on August 12th, 2021.

I Still Love Everyone I Have Ever Loved


And I always will

Photo by Aziz Acharki

“True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.” — Honoré de Balzac

Throughout the course of my life, I’ve been lucky enough to fall in love more than once.

But what exactly is love, and how do we “fall” into it?

Anyone who’s ever experienced a passionate intimate relationship can probably relate to this feeling of “falling,” and I believe there’s a reason why we use that particular word to describe it.

Falling, in the figurative sense, certainly feels a bit like falling in a literal sense. It’s similarly exciting, overwhelming and scary. The euphoria associated with this kind of infatuation is how I imagine a skydiver or an astronaut probably feels, hurtling back towards Earth, while taking in a view which is vast and beautiful at an indescribable level.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that there’s a difference between “falling in love” and actually loving someone. The lust and drama of connecting on a deep level with another person can certainly feel earth-shatteringly meaningful– for a while. But when we crash from the high produced by the cocktail of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine that swirls in our brains during a romance, what is left?

The truth is that real love has nothing to do with bringing flowers, reciting poems, or fantasizing about your future children. It’s not about great sex, great conversation, or sweeping anyone off their feet. We think of love as something intense and epic, but in reality, it’s quite mundane.

Real love isn’t a fairytale story with princesses, knights, magic or prophecies. It isn’t thrilling and intoxicating- actually, it’s rather boring. It’s an everyday story that includes things like eating, sleeping, cleaning your house and paying the bills. It’s about dealing with the challenges of whatever journey you each happen to be on, together.

Real love is about seeing someone who they truly are, flawed like all human beings inevitably are, and accepting them, wholly and completely. Real love doesn’t fade as physical attraction does, and it doesn’t fizzle out like lustful passion.

Real love doesn’t even go away when you want it to.

You’ve probably seen the evidence of this in your own relationships. The people we love are often the ones who hurt us the most, but somehow, we love them anyway.

I’ve heard many people say, “love shouldn’t hurt,” but the truth is, no matter how good everyone’s intentions are, it’s bound to hurt sometimes. Often we are only hurt by those we love because of our love for them. If we didn’t care, it would be easier to be indifferent.

When I look back over my past relationships, I can now see the difference between having “fallen in love” and having “loved.” It’s an easy distinction for me to make because there’s a single measurement I can use to be sure: I still love everyone who I have ever truly loved.

True love is eternal. It’s not about physical beauty, sex, validation, or power. It’s about the essence of what makes us human, and the recognition of our humanness in each other. It’s about looking at another person in the eyes and seeing a part of yourself.

When you truly love someone, it is truly unconditional, and irrevocable.

Real love doesn’t go away because of hardship or conflict. It doesn’t end in the heat of an argument, or after the pain of betrayal. It isn’t reduced when someone loses their job, gains weight, or gets old– because things like that aren’t the real reasons why we love people.

Love has nothing to do with the temporary bodies we live in, or the temporary experience we have while we are alive. It is the act of accessing the innate, infinite knowledge programmed into our souls and our cells, and truly understanding that we will never really be separated from each other, despite any physical or emotional detachment.

The truth is that I still love everyone I’ve ever truly loved.

I’ll love them if they are poor or wealthy.

I’ll love them if they are sick or healthy.

I’ll love them if they marry somebody else, go to prison, join a cult, or lose all of their hair and teeth.

I’ll love them in spite of time, in spite of anger, in spite of distance, and in spite of death.

And I always will.

Anything less just isn’t love.


Originally published on medium.com on February 15th, 2020.