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How to work with a flaky muse

Everyone’s creative process is different, but I’ve noticed a real trend among artists of ebbs and flows in inspiration and productivity.

An artistic temperament has often been associated with ups and downs in mood, which is unsurprising considering there seems to be a much-discussed relationship between creativity and mood disorders.

First, I think it’s important to make the distinction between illness and genius. Note that, at extremes, both positive and negative mood swings can actually impede creativity. There’s a problematic image of the “mad” artist in popular culture which I think often, unfortunately, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, but that’s not what I’m here to write about today.

Not all artists have mental illnesses; nonetheless, many creative people report experiencing something akin to mood swings when describing their creative process. The positive, functional moods which could be described as “strokes of inspiration” are something well-documented in the artistic world, and also increasingly in the realms of psychology and neuroscience.

You might have heard this referred to as a flow state, or “being in the zone”. Whatever you call it, I don’t think anyone experiences it all the time, and it’s always something to be grateful for when it comes around.

Since I’m a romantic sort of person who loves mythology and archetypes, I like to think of these moments in my creative life as “visits from my muse.” It helps me understand my own process better to personify the unknowable force which allows me to bring something forth from the nothingness that once was.

I’ve read a lot of articles about the psychology and neuroscience of creativity and productivity. I’ve read lots of guides detailing the logical steps you should take in order to optimize your ability to get into and maintain this sort of state.

While I think it’s helpful to understand things like this from a rational, materialistic, perspective– I think it can be a big leap bringing this comprehension from the conscious mind back into the unconscious programming which will drive our actual behavior.

In situations like this, I like to take a mystical perspective instead.

I like to imagine my muse as a temperamental diva who shows up either when the mood strikes her or when she believes I’m ready to hear what she has to say. Like most powerful and enigmatic women, my muse is complicated, and she isn’t easily wooed.

If your muse is anything like mine, it might be helpful to keep a few things in mind during your love affair.

Understand what attracts her

No self-respecting woman would be attracted to someone who doesn’t take care of themselves, and my muse is no exception. If I’m really screwing up when it comes to eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, or any of the other basic responsibilities that I have to my beloved meat-suit, I’m a lot less likely to be able to get her to call me back.

Letting yourself go when it comes to caring for your physical, mental, or emotional health will certainly turn the daughters of Zeus all the way the off. I mean, who can blame them? No one wants to go out dancing with a lazy couch potato who can’t bother to shower and change out of those sweats and into a pair of dancing shoes.

Don’t be your muse’s Tinder left-swipe.

Also– don’t you think a gorgeous, intelligent goddess like your muse would want to hang out with somebody interesting?

My muse is happy to meet up for coffee and chat about that new book I just read or that interesting podcast I just listened to, but she isn’t really that impressed by the shallow gossip I heard or the hours of Netflix I binge-watched last week.

It’s not all about appearances– muses are attracted to people of substance.

Give her your full attention when she arrives

The thing about the muse is, you never really know how long she’s going to stay when she shows up. Muses can be fickle like that– they’re kind of afraid of commitment, so often you have to settle for a no-strings fling.

Make the most of it! When a woman like her steps into your world, you make the time to spend with her, if you know what’s good for you.

Practice active listening when you’re interacting with your muse. Really look her in the eyes. Repeat back what she says. Shut the hell up for a little while and stop talking about you.

And take notes!

Sometimes the muse will show up bearing all sorts of ideas, and no matter how much time you carve out of your busy schedule to accommodate her, it still won’t be enough. Write down the good ideas for later if you can’t get to work right this minute.

But don’t be too clingy

You can bring her flowers– but don’t be a stalker. Don’t try to force things, that will only make the situation awkward. You know what I’m talking about. If you’ve been calling her and she’s not picking up, cool off for a bit.

“When inspiration does not come, I go for a walk, go to the movie, talk to a friend, let go… The muse is bound to return again, especially if I turn my back! “ — Judy Collins

Show her you’re worth it

If you’re trying to show a fine woman that you’re worth her time, actions speak louder than words.

Be honest with your muse about the responsibilities you’re capable of taking on and the reasons why you want to take them on in the first place.

Hera didn’t raise any fools, and you’ll definitely regret trying to do this girl dirty. Muses can see right through your bullshit, and they know if you’re just blowing smoke when you say you’re ready to get serious. Like most relationships, you get what you give in your relationship with your muse.

Show up for her when it matters. She wants to know she can depend on you. You have to make her feel safe. Work on building trust with your muse.

“I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse sees fit to join me there and sometimes she doesn’t, but she always knows where I’ll be. She doesn’t need to go hunting in the taverns or on the beach or drag the boulevard looking for me.” — Tom Robbins

Understand that she’s worth it

If you‘re hanging around a’ good woman and she realizes you don’t value her, she’ll be out the door before you can say “Melpomene.”

Having a muse by your side will make all the difference when it comes to fighting the battles of your creative process. She can teach you things about yourself and the world that you never imagined were possible, and make you feel things that you didn’t know you could feel, but don’t expect her to stick around if you don’t appreciate her.

When your muse gives you a good idea, don’t take it for granted. Show her that you’re actually paying attention to the words she whispers in your ear, and maybe next time she’ll sing you a song.

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Originally published on medium.com on October 24, 2019.